Last week I posted about joining a mastermind group. It’s been a great investment. It got me thinking today, about a terrific Jim Rohn quote that I probably should have included; “You are the sum total of the five people you spend the most time with.” It made me wonder who’s in your circle?
I’m incredibly proud of my circle. It was made really clear to me last week when I was having lunch with one of the most “get shit done” people I know, a brilliant entrepreneur, Sarah Kelsey. Every time we have lunch I leave with a notebook full of ideas because she’s awesome. While we were talking, another of my best friends and another ‘get shit done” person, the hardest working mortgage broker I know Kathy Mathews walked in. Of course, they knew one another, because get shit done people always know one another, and our conversation turned again for the best. When I left lunch, I had a meeting with the publisher of our paper, who is, you guessed it, a “get shit done person”, Deb Zwez who has a deeper love of her community than just about anyone I know. Later in the afternoon, my friend and fellow trainer, Debra Fox, who “gets shit done”, called me for a conversation about a project we’ve been working on. These four women have very little in common other than the fact that they’re “all get shit done” women who are incredibly accomplished and successful. They give me a lot to be proud of.
The reason why this list is so incredible is that I am not a “get shit done” person. I’m much more of a “think shit up” person. I’m good with words and generating ideas but I’m easily bored with details and my follow through needs work. That’s why I enjoy the company of these impressive women. By surrounding myself with people who possess talents that I don’t have, I’m learning and growing and improving. I have a circle who pushes me to be better and it makes me hungry to learn but more importantly, it makes me want to act because it’s what they’re good at. If you’re at all interested in building a circle who can inspire you to be better, let me tell you how I’ve done it.
Meet Them In Person
In January, I flew to Kansas City MO for the Skillpath Seminars Trainer’s Conference. I took time away from anything that makes me money, flew to Kansas City on my own dime and stayed for three days. The conference was really good, but the only reason I went was to meet Debra Fox. You see, Debra is a brilliant trainer who does what I do, but better. She’s a legend in the seminar business and I wanted to learn from her. Getting face to face with her was the smartest decisions I’ve ever made because she has a lot to share and I’ve become a lot better by getting to know her. I could have sent her a message and she would have probably been courteous, but she knew I was serious because we were face to face.
Buy Their Lunch
Whenever I need to talk over something big, I ask my friend Deb Zwez to lunch. She’s direct, snarky and delightful. We’ll spend an hour together and she’ll give me her opinion in exchange for buying her lunch. She’s never asked me to, it’s an unspoken thing, but she always helps me work out my toughest issues, I learn so much and it only costs me a couple of chili rellenos and Diet Pepsi. If you want the advice of people smarter than you, get them to lunch, ask your questions and pick up the tab. It’s one of the best ways I’ve ever found to get better quickly.
Let Them Know How It Turns Out
My friend Sarah started her company making designer earrings with $80 at her kitchen table. She’s incredibly transparent about her success. She’s an awesome social media follow and she inspires thousands of young women with her message. Because she prides herself on being really accessible, she’s constantly being asked for advice and for her opinions. She tells me what a shockingly huge number of people who ask for her advice who never bother to follow and tell her how it turns out. She makes the time, which she really doesn’t have, to answer questions and give advice and then she never hears from them again. It’s an awful way to build a relationship. These kinds of people love to help but they want to know how it turns out. They want to know if their advice was helpful. If it was, you owe it to them to let them know. In most cases, they’re happier for your success than you are.
Show Your Appreciation
Two years ago on May first, my family moved into our dream home. We’d talked about it and planned for it for what seemed like forever. Getting there was one of the most difficult things we’ve ever done. When it was time to finance our house, if it could go wrong, it went wrong. To top it off, we knew nothing about getting a mortgage. Lucky for us, Kathy Mathews did. She laid out a plan for us, told us what to do and then moved mountains to help us get it done. After years of dreaming, Kathy made it come true. The least we could do was thank her publicly. Posting to social media, telling everyone about her brilliance and most importantly, saying thank you was a big help. Kathy is a friend for life and I was proud to thank her.
I’m extremely lucky to be around such hard driven, get shit done women. They make me better and I’m extremely grateful for what I’ve learned from each of them. Jim Rohn says you’re the sum total of the five people you spend the most time with. I’ve got a great circle and I can only hope to be their sum total. If you want to build yours, start now and make it your mission to meet them in person, buy their lunch, tell them how it turns out and show your appreciation. I’m positive, they’ll make you better